7:21 a.m. - 2002-08-19
An interesting life indeed...
So perhaps I should have been born a gay man? Okay, well, on second thought, I think I'm fine just the way I am. I just seem to find myself at gay bars and gay parties more than at heterosexual events. hehe... that's probably because the crowd is so fun!
Anyway, this weekend was a friend's birthday and he invited us to his party so off we went. It was a good time. We played games and one of which my number actually got picked. My task was to roll an orange from Ivan's feet up to his head, using only my nose (okay, so i used my tongue and chin sometimes too, this game isn't easy folks!) Oh... did I leave out the fact that I was blindfolded? *giggles* So that was a hoot.... getting up past his crotch like 4 times then dropping the damn orange and having to start again. My goodness was it hilarious.
That's really the only game that I ended up participating in. Partially because my number didn't get reselected and partially because there were a few games I -couldn't- play because I'm having those "girl issues". Though... I did have a couple of fine boys nosing, blindfolded at my tush... which was amusing... Carl kisses and nibbles... that got my attention. *grins*
We decided not to stay out there because, well, boys like to play and He and I would have been lucky to have found a spot without a body lying in it. On the drive home tired Tara goes and opens her big mouth about something and now has an assignment that consequently stresses her out... a lot. Here's hoping what they say about exercise reducing stress really does work.
And then there's A. I didn't talk to her this weekend. He did. I was in collar for most of the weekend and the events of the car ride home had pretty much obliterated me to the highest of slavegirl heights making me not fit for sharing Him with company, I was glad she didn't ask to come down. I suppose that's a long involved conversation. One that involves talking about the places I go and the way my mind works and the highs and lows of my submission. Plus how when I get into that zone there's a higher concentration of selfishness that is probably common in most people half in headspace, half in reality.
I wanted to say no to her staying for a few days this week, but I think that's because of where I was. The more I think about it I didn't want to say no because it was -her- so much as because I don't understand why I don't mind as much as I used to. He has a point when He says that I have most of my issues with people we have a history with, which is mostly true. I mentioned the theory to Him the other day... yesterday I think (phew the weekend whizzed by!) I don't remember what He had to say about it really...
I think I'm just scared that I don't mind as much as I used to who I share my time with Him with. Though, with A, I suppose the situation is a little different than that too. I guess I'm in the process of just learning to accept that I don't mind as much while also keeping an eye on myself for those tell-tale signs of emotional arising which can probably tend to happen from time to time anyway. Hey, I'm female, I'm an only child and first girl... Things are bound to get combustive at some point with a combination like that! It's just mitigating it that's the issue. Making sure I catch it and discuss things where needed. I credit Him with finally convincing me that I am important to Him. That He does love me and that He says I will not be replaced (though note how I said that... there are some things that the girl will never stop fearing...) He's been spectacular to me and I love Him for it. He continues to be so... I continue to be so lucky :)
Heh... can anyone tell that Tara has been in collar this weekend? Anyone? Anyone? ;)
Speaking of which... I have a sore spot on the back of my head where apparently my collar decided to dig in a little, probably while I was sleeping... a nice tender reminder of this weekend since I don't have any welts or bruises to show for the rest of the occassion ;)
Ack! I got stuff to do! Gotta jet folks... have a good week!
