Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

10:09 a.m. - 2004-12-20
this year is almost over... what has it been?
originally my intention was to write about my reflections on the past year because... damn! it's almost over...

of course, now, all i want to do is complain because my mom is all like "I just feel like I've been pushed aside" because I supposedly see Stephan's parents "all the time" and she never gets to see me.

WELL MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THEY CALL AND ASK WHEN WE'RE GOING TO BE HOME!?!?!

Anyone who knows me knows that i love my mom to death. Hell, i even love my dad and i don't even say more than maybe a dozen words to him in a whole year just because he's been such a jerk for the last four plus years. But for Christ's sake, i'm 28 years old, i work excessively and i've got a condo on my hands that, lately, seems hellbent on emptying my non-existant savings account.

The whole reason we're even having everyone down at all this weekend is because i was all sad that i wasn't going to see my family on critmas. i'm friggen pissed off now because i make the invitation and then have to hear this bullsh*t just because she asked about Heather's swearing in and i told her that His mom came with me to it.

i told her i am not dealing with the jealousy crap, it's not my issue. fact of the matter is we don't see them that much either and i just don't have the time to get all the way out to CT all the time AND, like i said before, His mom calls and finds out when we're going to be home instead of frackin' whining about it post-haste.

man i'm ticked at her. i threatened to just return all the friggen presents i have for her this year because she's just being childish.

ARGH!

yeah, so ANYWAY...

i was thinking this morning during my drive in about the fact that this year is almost over. it prompted me to peer back in the movie theater in my head and see what's gone on in the past year that i can take with me.

it's been a long and tumultuous year. it's not been a particularly miserable one, i think most years end up balancing out fairly well actually... at least they always seem to in my life and experience thusfar though at a given moment i may argue that point depending on what's going on ;)

it's sad that i think back and one of the first things that i think of is work and how absolutely crappy that's been this year. it's been a progression from blah to hell and with the recent announcement that our open positions will probably be filled with outsourced individuals, it doesn't exactly make for a super-merry critmas around this ice hole.

i'm going to try not to get onto my high horse about that one though... that's not the point at the moment... though maybe i should save that for another edition of Tara's journal.

yeah, more hours, less people... it just blows in general. probably the biggest area of discontent for me this whole year. good news being i discovered that, despite the fact that it makes me phsyically nauseous to do so, i can go out and look for other jobs and even interview and people like me and my skill set... so there's hope. i'm attempting to hold tight and not look until after the year rolls over and bonuses are awarded. i'm not expecting to be here somehow at the end of next year... whether they axe me or i leave, i just have a feeling that next year is a change year for me.

what else?

i bought a condo this year... i've never posted any pictures of it... i love it, it was a good buy, the neighborhood isn't all that great but i guess that happens too. it's been a real pain in my tush lately with broken appliances and leaky heating pipes (because some dumb a$$ put a nail straight through the pipe..... grrrr!) but it's all in a days work when you own a place of your own.

the girls moved in... and one moved out again... another mark towards both good and bad times. i'm not really done dealing with the moving out situation but all in good time i suppose. it's been mostly fun to have them around. it's been tough in the times when i've been buried in work or dealing with the house issues or whatever else is going on in a particular moment but overall, it's been okay having them there.

i still miss having quiet time to myself when the place is completely empty and there's no one around but me. it's a quirky only-child thing in me i think.

i've SORT OF started weight watchers again... issue being i never seem able to get there, which is annoying because that costs me money. we've just resolved to go back post-holiday and start over because the maddness ensues straight through the next two weeks. i may look for another location since i'm not sure S is planning on going back with us. i'm going to ask her.

events this year... ahhh... camp! camp's on my mind because this weekend i got to see people from camp and the picture from camp and dammit i want to go BACK to camp... "Uncle" Frazier says only 5 more months. i told him that's just too long.

new puters... new obsession (a'la mage knights)... new friends and lots of fun. poker night... beacuse we've only had one dammit. the floods.... the big hole in heather's wall... MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT! My last class at BSC for now, if not forever depending on our plans for the future... the discussions about moving out of state and region and my being okay with that (for the most part).

the stupid election and the MILLIONS OF STUPID PEOPLE who re-elected monkey-boy bush. being in DC for that week and seeing how ticked off the DC'ers were at his re-election (a subject you did NOT want to bring up at breakfast lest your waiter/ress be politically inclined).

my first divorce. my 10-year class reunion... oy...

Jenny's wedding and all the emotional baggage that comes with seeing her again... maybe someday that'll all be worked out.

it's been a good year. it's been a bad year. overall, i think most year's end up balancing out like that.

maybe someday soon i'll write again about the things i'd like to do differently next year... i just don't have time right now. i started this entry at 10AM and it's now 1:30PM... ahh work...

 

previous - next

 

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!