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8:53 a.m. - 2004-06-07
ScAtTeR mInDeD
I'm feeling anxious right now so I decided to stop what I was doing and write for a little while. I haven't done it in a while so I figured, hey, what the hell... maybe it will help.

I guess now that the move is done, I'm letting it all catch up to me. Except now I have to move the office too and while packing my stuff I got this sudden urge to just vomit and realized that standing wasn't going to be doing me any good in that particular moment... it feels like my hip wants to fall off... ahh... the joys.

I guess here, at work, my anxiety revolves around the stuff that didn't get worked on while I was gone and the expectations that are sitting on me this week on top of the general move. It's a lot of work and I'm only one person and I'm just hoping to get it done in a timely manner but so far... it's been nothing but delays. I get a migraine just thinking about it.

Toss that in with all the issues at the condo... no gas, no phone... everyone wanting everything done yesterday... it's killing me. I started into this move that way and quickly realized that there are so many hours in the day and just one of me and since I had to pick and choose the things that needed tobe done, I did it in the way I thought would be best and most efficient (even if no one agreed with me) and it all got done.

Moving is messy. Mess is stressful... it'll pass. We'll probably be mostly through the unpcking or at least organizing by the end of the weekend if everyone continues to pitch in.

The new situation is adding interesting dynamics to the situation too... I truly crave some time to just be alone with my thoughts for a while and get the whole deal sorted out but... as usual... never time for Tara to stop... always have to go go go and get the things that need to be done, done.

I'm glad I am worthy of all this responsibility but I'm ready to toss it all to the wind and watch where the pieces fall rather than breaking my back over it all (literally with these boxes here... I'd never have thought that i could make boxes here heavier than those we moved in the past two weeks.)

I'm scattered...

I"m greatful for the help I've had... both from our own family and the extended family that are our friends. It's nice when people are kind enough to take some of their time to come and help and not utter a single complaint in the process.

I don't think I have anything else constructive to say that I can spare the time putting down here... I haven't resolved anything at all and there's a lot more in my head but since I don't have the time to empty right now, in it stays.

I can't wait until life slows down.

I've had enough for a while...

 

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