8:34 p.m. - 2003-12-29
brain dump for 20031229 (Where has the year gone? Anyone?)
i haven't been writing a lot lately. For a multitude of reasons but probably mostly because i either haven't had the time or anything to say when i did have the time.
this morning, i wanted to write but of course got to work and faced one of "those" Monday mornings... but you all don't really want to listen to me whine about it and quite frankly, i don't really want to whine about it anymore so i won't.
ahh... yeah, that felt good.
i was all pissed off at the radio this morning. The whole Michael Jackson is a molester Part 2 story line is just frustrating as all hell to me. Being the open minded person that i am, i'm sitting there listening to my favorite morning jocks going on and on about how it's abnormal to have other people's children sleep in the same bed with an adult. Sure by general society standards that truly is a little odd but did any one of the three of them even stop to consider that perhaps he doesn't know any better? That perhaps the fact that his family was so HUGE that every night of his life he probably ended up sleeping in the same bed with many of his siblings and probably many of his own or his brothers and sisters friends? If they did, they didn't mention it. This irks me.
i suppose i am just irked but the societal bias that everyone has to put on everything. in this sue happy society it's just one thing after another and it just kills me that people are so stupid and irresponsible and lack any idea of what personal responsibility even is. Then, even though i had pretty much simmered down by the time i got to work and hadn't mentioned my little "Michael Jackson vs. American Society" moment in the car on the way in, my coworker goes and tells me a story about a woman who's 2 year old fell and did some damage to her face while playing at the public playground. Well, apparently this child is one of those child models and the parent is now proceeding to sue the city or town for lost wages because of the accident. WELL HELLO!? It's a PLAYGROUND! It's full of all KINDS of fun things to make us trip and smash our faces on the pavement or any of the other fun pipes and random pieces of wood that make up any play structure. To me, it's obvious that there is an inherent danger in allowing your child to play on a playground (especially at age 2... anyone see my point here? wobbly toddler... playground with all kinds of ups, downs and slants and pavement and rocks, etc? anyone see my drift?) and if you're worried about your child's modeling career to the point of suing obsession don't you think you'd have created an inflatable playground in your own back yard for said child to make sure that they are absolutely positively safe?
but NOOOOO... stupid parent says "not my fault the playground is hard and wrecked my kid's face. not my fault my child tripped and fell. nope! certainly not! sue! sue! SUE!" greedy, irresponsible parents. end of story. get a grip people. your mistakes, your unfortunate consequences of choices that YOU consciously make... no one's fault but your own. seriously, get a grip and stop screwing with the system, you only make things worse and worse.
heh... i then accused my coworker of purposely seeking out these types of stories just to get a rise out of me. He chuckled and admitted that it was amusing to incite this type of response from a simply story. Apparently Jansen and i are good for this type of response. heh heh. At least he agrees with me though. There aren't too many things that we can't see eye to eye on even if we don't agree on how they should really be. it's nice to have open minded friends.
Been antisocial lately. i think my last minute Christmas shopping and the resultant anxiety i experienced from being amongst throngs of anxiety-ridden, angry, disgruntled holiday shoppers has sufficiently cured me from needing the human contact i so crave most times. i'd prefer to stay as far away from most of them as possible. i still can't believe that the energy at the mall one night was so bad that it managed to give me stomach cramps. Sometimes i regret that i have developed my sensitivity to general energy so well. (On other occassions however i am truly greatful for such a gift.) But que ser�, ser�! And on with life i go. Christmas is over and now it's just angsty returns people and people trying to spend up all their gift cards before, gods forbid, they're a week old ;) but soon that wave will give way to the hoards of resolution seeking folks at the gym and flooding GNC for all things good and wholesome to make them miraculously lose that weight. By February's end, those people will mostly be weeded out as well... one might think i've survived a few different gyms at about the New Year's season ;)
i don't make "resolutions" anymore. i think it's a silly habit that just causes you to break them faster, however, i too will be starting some things anew come the new year and am hoping to have the discipline to stick them. Some i've conquered before, other things, all new. Day by day i'll get there. i'll probably fail at attaining some of the goals i set for myself but that's all part and parcel of setting goals for myself. i often aim for the stars and fall with a thud onto the mood, missing my mark. but hey, at least i usually get to the moon! it is often difficult to attain everything which we seek from ourselves. it is truly no different than what we do with others on a day to day basis... just that some of us are harder on ourselves than we can be on other people... at least in some cases. it's all conditional so that statement only makes partial sense i suppose. welcome to Tara's ruffled, migraine induced brain. Thank you Excedrine Tension Headache!
i didn't sleep all that well last night and consequently my eyes are deleriously tired so i think i'm done for tonight. i needed to write though and so i have.
hopefully tonight won't involve waking up every hour and staring at the wall for an hour or more until i and He shift comfortably and i drift off without knowing it.
restless brain, restless sleep. i hope that others sleep well tonight as well as myself.
