10:39 a.m. - 2003-08-13
a mom-induced rant
My mom annoys me thoroughly sometimes. She gets these ideas into her head about things and then tries to guilt you into stuff using them.
She thinks that He doesn't like talking to her because every time she calls the house and talks to Him He seems quiet and distant like He doesn't want to talk to her. She's also somewhat indignant that He doesn't appear to appreciate card and notes and thoughtful things that she does... I just had to explain to her that not everyone grows up with that kind of thing in their life and so, likely, it just makes no sense to Him.
We then went onto into a rave about how she only calls me at work and that's because she doesn't like to call when He's home because she "knows [I'd] rather spend time with Him." At which point I snapped and started lecturing her about stopping her attempts to guilt me about things that she creates in her own head. GODS SHE'S INSANE SOMETIMES!
And she still doesn't get it!
ARGH!
I'm fine with talking to her, we dont' have a whole lot to talk about since I'm here doing my own thing, which she's mostly not interested in, and she's out there doing her own thing, which I'm mostly not interested in and so, it's always the same thing over and over again. BUT whatever I still like to talk to her and know she's alive once in a while!
And then, she's all bent out of shape now because my uncle spliced the DSL so she could have faster service and she found out that he can tell when she's on. Well this caused a HUGE fit because she doesn't want him "babysitting" her. *rolls her eyes* for CRYING OUT LOUD WOMAN! What does it matter!??! "Well I don't want him knowing when I'm online." "Why not? He can't see what you're doing! What does it matter." "Well, you know your uncle..." "Mom, it's not like he's sitting down there watching your every move" "Well I don't like it. I'm going to have him get rid of it."
She really needs to get a grip. And I thought my uncle was paranoid! Apparently it runs in the family quite profusely.
And she ALWAYS uses the guilt trip tactic and it must drive her insane that it doesn't work anymore. She tries to make me feel guilty about things I don't do, like talk to her or write to her or visit but even if I did it would be the same conversations over and over again. We're different people with different lives and though I do and always will love her to absolute death and beyond, we just don't always mesh like we used to when we were more local and shared the same interests.
Sometimes I wonder if having money and moving out here towards the city has just warped me enough that I can't relate to anyone back home anymore. I don't doubt that I've become somewhat of a snob. That's obvious even to me in that I won't buy used stuff as often or have to have certain types of things (brand names on some stuff and such). but it makes me happy... I still know how to survive if I have to (and this month, I have to...) but there's just some things that dont' work for me anymore. Drinking beer and listening to people (usually drunk people) cuss it up just isn't my deal anymore. It really never was but I did it because that's what there was to do out there!
Jesus she sets me off sometimes. And then she probably wonders why -I- don't want to talk to her... sheesh...
well, i feel better now. back to work i go with a clear head!
