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10:32 a.m. - 2003-07-21
a good weekend ends
Hot in here...

pretty bad when it's actually cooler outside than it is in your air conditioned office. Needless to say the A/C is broken on our side of the building and that makes being sleepy to begin with twice as challenging. And of course there's not a whole lot for me to do but to sit here reading emails from Sammer and trying to look busy doing something that at least looks mildly work related. blah!

This was a good weekend. Full of the typicals ups and downs that a weekend with a houseful of girls will provide but one that is certainly like the others that have come prior to this. The drama level was at a minimum. So much so that it was nearly non-existant except for a couple of small outbreaks, some by me, some by the other two. All in all I'd say it was a normal, balanced weekend since sometimes us females are prone to temper tantrums even where there isn't just one Master to go around. :)

andrea did well this weekend in my opinion. She opened up a lot more than she usually does which I'm hoping means that she's starting to find the feet she needs to stand on to talk more about her feelings and reactions to things. After all, if she can do that with me (or us if you count H) then she's on her way to being able to do it more rationally with Him. I think the time she spends with Him is probably really good for them both. I don't even mind the quiet time to myself, or in last night's case, with H either. It gives me time to be reflective and/or gives me time to talk. At some point I can see us doing "family meetings" too to work out the umbrella-type issues that surround a multi-person family.

H. We had a lot of talk time this weekend which was exceptionally nice. She's so full of life and is so enjoying the things around her that she simply glows making herself twice as beautiful in the process. She told me a number of times that she had a really good time and I know she did by the look in her eyes and the excitement in her face. She's beautiful with those large, inquisitive, blue eyes of hers and at the same time she is both innocent and sage. She's new and so, I worry about her intrinsically because I know the number of creeps out there who want to take people like her and mold them into something that is uninteresting and boring. I know she'd not be easily persuaded into such a relationship but still... it's my job to worry.

Last night when we were chatting there was a saddness behind her eyes that I wished I could have plucked out. At the same time it is difficult and not so difficult to believe that she has had such experiences in her life that could add that amount of saddness during a conversation such as ours but at the same time it's easy to see that because of the things that have happened in her life she has turned into quite an amazing person. She just doesn't quite realize the extent of that yet though it seems. (She'll probably argue with me there but that's okay.) Sometimes she just seems to forget that she's worth knowing, but she is and I'll gladly tell her that over and over again.

There are lots of things that we've talked about that are interesting to me. I'd like to be able to sit here and speculate on all of them but somehow it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do here... at least not yet.

The amazing thing about the weekend is that although there were a few rough spots where emotions were the ruling factor among some or all of us (including Him when tired) the weekend came off without a sour ending and I am not upset in the least about anything that happened or with anyone. Most people would probably find that somewhat monumental to hear it coming from me.. ESPECIALLY on a weekend when my period had just started... but it's true. It was good. It's a good beginning and I see that there will be other times like those. If one is possible many are possible.

Such a strange little family we're building. Person by person they come into our lives, some stay, others move on for the own reasons. "Family" becomes both a significant and relative word (no pun intended) because though our formal family is still very small, our family in a relative sense is large and varied. We care about the people that come into our lives and choose to share their time with us. And though not all of them can understand how that's possible, it is always possible to extend a thought or care towards someone who has touched your life.

I think the essential difference between being part of the formal family or being part of the greater family is obligation. As part of the smaller family it no longer becomes optional to work out issues you may have with the others, it becomes an obligation to know when to speak up and how to seek help, if needed, in reconciling the issue. There's an obligation to the family, and to the house to represent both in a manner that is highly respectful and indicative of the house and the family.

It's not time now for additional obligations to be added to a burden that is already somewhat unruly. I hope that she realizes that she -can- talk to me whenever she needs to. I've told her a few times but telling her again isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.

I'm getting random because people are talking around me. It's very hot in here and it seems that no one can concentrate enough to do much work... but I should check to see if there's more out there for me to be doing.

If not... I suppose I'll be back.

 

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