9:14 a.m. - 2003-05-31
Saturday morning thought chase
i'm all dressed and ready to go to the gym but my inertia has gotten the best of me for the moment and i felt like writing so... here i am.
*pauses* the banner at the top of this window is somewhat disturbing... it's got and owl on it and then a sentance that says "genuine owl poop" --> and it's pointing at, what I can only assume is owl poop... since that's what it claims and all.... ALRIGHTY then. You people out there, some of you, have WAY too much time on your hands!
Anyway, pensive lately. Tired lately. Excited for camp, hating work for making me work the weekend before camp BUT excited for work at the same time because I've been planning these changes since last October and have been bumped twice so I'm damned excited to finally have the window to do them in! I'm a freak, can you tell? I get excited about my work... I talk about work all the time... Ahh well, better than hating it in general right?
New moon today.. huh... hope that doesn't mean ALL the freaks and geeks will be out today in full idiot force...
mind, wandering...
been thinking about a lot of people lately. and myself. trying to piece together the randomness that sometimes my feelings become when I don't take the time to sit and pull all the pieces together. my mind is like a puzzle sometimes that no matter how much you put together, if you walk away, and leave it for a little while, it sort of starts deconstructing itself in places... so i try to keep vigilant and not forget to maintain parts of the puzzle because it's too much work and sometimes too difficult to go about finding everything again and start making the pictures a little clearer.
i suppose that sometimes things fall apart when people sweep in and wipe at the pieces, messing them up. i think in all of us is somewhat of an ideal that life is supposed to happen in such a way. that ideal for me has shrunk in importance and i don't rely heavily on that but still think that somehow our choices and the things that happen to us come along due to other choices we make in our lives. sort of a karma-type idea or just a linking of events.
I think it's nice though that we don't always know the outcomes of our actions. I suppose that scares some people but it intrigues me to all hell. Probably my feline-type curiousity about things in general. It's bound to get my killed someday if I don't keep an eye out for danger :) I guess my theory has slowly become, try to think about potential outcomes of your actions at all times, but don't let those thoughts stop you from making the choice your heart yearns for. But in that comes the caveat to make sure that those around you whom you trust and who care for you don't see any potential outcomes worse than what you can see. I think it's nice to have positive and negative people around sometimes. Of course no one likes to hang out with a negative nancy but sometimes those people bring valid arguments to the table in choice situations.
huh... I just realized I've been babbling about nothing in general. Guess my brain is feeling philosophical, either that or I really didn't get enough sleep last night ;)
I have a lot to do today. I need to get us ready for camp :) That means spending more money :/ but in the end it will be all worth it no doubt. I hope that whatever happened with Brian at work gets sorted out. He was pretty upset yesterday as I would think he should be when something is threatening his vacation next week. *sighs* I think I'd die if work did that to me.
Alright, since I was about to drastically shift conversational lanes again it's obvious to me that my brain is on the freeway while I'm sitting here at the side of the road. I give up trying to catch it. I'm going to the gym where I can mindlessly work out for a while and then, off to my day's adventures. MUST remember to sneak in a nap so I'm not totally exhausted tonight. Amar has been annoying me lately so I need to try to have the tolerance level to deal with him tonight.
FUN.
toodles for now.
