Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

10:04 a.m. - 2002-12-24
brain dump... less than festive, pass on it if you're not up to it.
Yeah, so perhaps i haven't been in the brightest of cheery moods this week. sometimes, i just think all the commercial grumpiness of the holidays gets to me, not mention lack of sun and vacation days...

i think also that people who i have lost come to mind and that tends to drag me down too. i'm sure there's a million reasons and sometimes, it just gets to me.

but this morning... i'm thankful for my best friend, because she has the spunk of a little kid and though she can be a royal pain in my ass and annoy the crap out of me with very little effort (which is, I suppose, what sisters are good at. even though she's not my blood, she's still my sister)today, i was happy to get the email from her, jsut so full of childish excitement about kritmas and about her, jamie and i (and Kirsten too) getting together to go shopping on the 4th.

i guess sometimes i miss the light in people's eyes like i can picture in hers just thinking about how animated she'd be if we were talking face to face about these things. heh... she can be so cute sometimes.

i'm not all bah-humbug... i'm glad it's kritmas.. and i see that He has delivered on His promise to bring me a white kritmas (even though it may screw up travel plans to see my family, which could suck big time)... i can't wait to open presents... i can't wait to spend tonight with Him, just us alone.

in the car this morning i heard "Where are you Christmas" by Faith Hill... apparently it's from the Grinch soundtrack... i sort of identified with the first half of the song...

"Where are you Christmas?

Why can't I find you?

Why have you gone away?

Where is the laughter,

You used to bring me?

Why can't I hear music play?

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Where are you Christmas?

Do you remember,

The one you used to know?

I'm not the same one

See what the time has done

Is that why you have let me go?

Christmas is here, everywhere

oh,oh

Christmas is here, if you care

ohhh "

it then, of course, goes on to be a happier tune but i was more interested in this part. Christmas has changed so much in so few years. i used to love kritmas more than anything, it's still a lot of fun, but it's always more fun when you can see the eyes of someone light up based on presents or decorations... maybe i'm just not slowing down to see the light in people's eyes.. maybe i'm just not looking at the children (not that i ever see any lately... and i peel through the mall so quick during the Christmas season that i'm not stopping to look)... i have no idea, just this year i'm blah... it seems that nothing but being surrounded by people and having people near is doing it for me...

heh... maybe i just need time off!

eh... it will improve.

it always does.

until then, I'll keep decorating for kritmas. i'll keep being excited that "Santa's" bringing me new toys and stuff...

and i'll try and keep the light in my own eyes.

i don't want to ruin kritmas for anyone else. and besides, it really -is- a lot of fun.

AND IT'S GOING TO SNOW!!!

WOOHOOOOO!

 

previous - next

 

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!