7:53 a.m. - 2002-09-11
diatribe ahead, use caution
alright, so i somewhat feel like an insensitive cad in some ways. in others, i'm just downright annoyed at the world or at least Americans as a whole.
on the way to work i always listen to the radio. this morning the morning show people were broadcasting live from a site on Route 9 and handing out carnations, pins, and hugs as their way to do something to commemorate (www.m-w.com's word of the day fittingly enough) the 9-11 occurances last year. That's all fine and good and i'm glad that they have found a way to give something to themselves and the community to help remember this day...
however...
(and for those of you who are political or just plain like to debate, make your decision now as to continue reading or not because this will probably irritate you. same goes for those people who are cracked up over the fact that today's date is 9-11.)
they keep saying this is going to be an "emotional" day for everyone and that's all fine and good but they're making it sound like we're all going to be crying on the streets all day over what happened last year. quite frankly, i'm not going to wander about bawling my eyes out. why do they have to sell it that way? i'm sure there's plenty of people in the country who will FORGET that today is the anniversary of such a horrendous event in the history of our country. i'm not emotional in the sense that i'll be mourning again for the lost lives, instead i'm just plain pissed off that stupid moron idiot-boy Bush is more interested in pursuing war with the rest of the world rather than looking at his homeland and actually seeing that our economic position isn't at it's finest... oh, but then again, he would have to acknowledge he's and idiot for tanking the economy himself and then prolonging the effect by ignoring domestic issues altogether.
ANYWAY... we all know i hate Bush. I believe he's an absolute idiot but i'm incredibly happy this entire mess with this country will be blamed on him and not Gore, though in some ways i wish Gore was president so he could come in and clean this mess up... maybe next term... hope for the democrats!
anyway again... getting back to the whole emotional thing (now we see why Tara doesn't discuss politics... ) my mom calls me this morning to tell me she loves me and to be careful. i tell her the same. it's evident in her voice that she's notably upset. this annoys me too. maybe i just shouldn't have gotten up today. truth of the matter is, neither her nor i lost anyone we -directly- know that was close to us or part of our family, yet she seems shaken by today. perhaps i'm the ultimate apathetic here but why? it -is- a tragedy that all those people died last year. it -is- terrible and i feel for the families that lost all of their family members including the family that lives in my hometown who lost their daughter, Carrie P, who graduated in MY CLASS in high school. yes, i knew her. i hadn't talked to her in YEARS even while in high school really but i did know her and that was pretty shocking but i'd rather remember her from the way she was and what she did in high school, not revel in the fact that she died at the hands of some morons who were told by a bigger moron that their god thinks Americans should all be destroyed.
and what the hell is up with that? correct me if i'm wrong here but more than likely, when the "gods" were around/created/whatever your view is America didn't exist. i thought about this a little this morning and i suppose that Americans, myself included, could be signed up for the death sentance for violating biblical rules such as gluttony, selfishness, pride... on and on.. but really now.. .what are the odds that some "god" is speaking to this one fruit loop, Osama Bin Laden (who seems to think he's a messiah himself), saying "kill the Americans, it will make your life better" or some such shit. and then there's these blind followers who will believe anything someone tells them as long as it gets them to heaven/nirvana/whatever their selling... good gracious... and people wonder why i have an issue with religion. i'm of the mind that it was created as a brain washing method to control the masses and funny... many of the religious people i know, who are "devout" are like walking zombies selling their and their churches interpretations of the words in the Bible.
i like quiet religions. ones that focus on spirituality and not on judging the world and comparing everyone to some kind of unattainable idol or position in life.
i'm off subject... just seem to want to cover ALL the subjects i hate talking to people about today, aren't i?!
9-11, for me, will be a day of anger and annoyance. i'm angry that it happened and that nothing definite has been done but put the people responsible underground where we'll never find them until someday they suddenly reappear, like Castro, many years down the road when we're off on another campaign to play shoot-em-bang-em-up with some other cause or country. i'm angry because people had to die and our president sees that as a way to stir up shitloads of trouble with a good portion of the rest of the world. i'm annoyed that people seem to think that everyone should be out there crying on the streets over this date. i'm annoyed at the people who spent the majority of the past year not even thinking about 9-11 and now, all of a sudden, today can't go to work because they're "too shaken" by the memory of what happened a year ago, or who will go to work and blubber and cry or lament over the anniversary only to return to regularly scheduled life tomorrow like nothing ever happened.
although i tend to suffer from it as well, apathy annoys me. there's not really been a day when for some reason or another i haven't thought about 9-11. mostly because there's flag hanging everywhere, which was non-existent before 9-11, or because i read msnbc every day and there's usually a story that, if not about the tragedy itself, refers to it in some way. i'm glad to see we are more patriotic. i'm happy to see that there are at least more people paying attention to the world outside their own little, seemingly safe haven of a life.
i wonder what life will be like when we forget 9-11 for 364 days out of the year. just like we do the end of Vietnam or the way we've pretty much forgotten particular dates about the World Wars or Desert Storm or any other war. The way we've forgotten about the other world trade bombings or Mr. Timothy McVeigh blowing up a building and killing innocent people and CHILDREN. i have a feeling 9-11 will have a resonance like the holocaust in some ways, but never on that magnitude since the holocaust, in my opinion, was FAR worse than this in many many ways. we'll remember the lost and the hurting in the backs of our minds but only once in a while... because after a while they are not touching our lives anymore... and their faces, and the pain and the rememberance, the patriotism, the tears, the pictures... all of it will be gone.
but we forget that now...
and we're all supposed to be crying and mourning.
instead, i'll continue to be angry and annoyed and that will be my emotional strategy today.
to any and all of those families who have lost someone in last year's tragedy, i really do feel for you and wish only that we had the leadership who had the brains to think of something other than bringing war but instead that he knew how to further a feeling of peace and freedom to our country again. i wish you all the best in remembering and creating a memory of those you loved that you have lost. life is never the same when we lose a piece of ourselves.
i'm just going to stop there... before i go off again...
*sighs* grrr...
