9:24 p.m. - 2002-07-18
The reply
First and foremost... Thanks for leaving me a note... glad the first one could be so 'cheery'.
Second, nice to finally meet you, it's too damn bad that someone told you that my journal entry was all about you, because it's not.
In fact, I once had a journal that was not locked, but that the only person I ever told about it was Him. And I wrote in my "public" one that everyone knew about still... well, that turned out not to be enough and people got curious, went digging and WHAM there it was.
And she read it. And then she passed it off to someone else and he read it. I'm sure I don't have to say who those people were. I'm sure you're quite familiar with them both.
They read those thoughts. MY thoughts written in fits of anger, jealousy, thought, insight, confusion, seeking... they read my absolute raw thoughts and took them for whole truths. Took it as me saying things about them behind their backs and made their own truths about what they thought I really thought about them.
Well, they should have asked me questions. Because as it turns out, the outcome of the whole affair shows for a fact that they don't know me very well at all because anyone who knows how I reason and how I think would know that I can be irrational when I'm emotional.
But, I guess it's not my problem anymore because one chooses to ignore that it ever happened and pretend like we're still the best of friends even though we don't ever talk anymore and the other tells me I'm "forgiven", for what, I'm still not sure.
So you see, my new-found friend, my journal entry had nothing to do with you at all. The only reason it came up at all was because I read his journal first. It wasn't until I was half way through the entry that I was made aware of a new entry on Jackie's page... so... odd isn't it? Accusing me of making assumptions when I clearly stated that I did not know the situation. I did not make a single ASSUMPTION -about- your reasons for doing it. In fact, I could care fucking less -why- you did it. It's YOUR journal, and since I don't read it (in fact I was never really quite sure who you were, I"m sorry, no one ever afforded me the knowledge and I'm not nosey enough to go poking around if I'm not told about it or it doesn't appear in a banner) I can't make assumptions on it, nor on why you would close it.
I'm sorry that you too have been sucked into making assumptions about what I write here. I hold no ill will towards you for anything. I cannot, for I do not know you and therefore cannot and will not judge you. I think this is only fair.
Don't be sucked into reading into other's journals, don't relate everything to your own life until you know the person on the other end. And by the way, other people telling you about the person on the other end, isn't knowing them, it's prejudging and prejudging = prejudice.
Assumptions are indeed bad. Perhaps if they had not been made waaaay back in the first place, we would have met on better terms.
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Exact quote and the only quote in any relation to you and your journal:
"Maybe I'm not on top of that situation, and I know that they probably aren't even close to being the same but in the end, it's all the same game."
I did not make assumptions and, in fact, declared my lack of knowledge for the situation quite plainly. Rest assured that this is the -only- reference to you in any way. The rest of it is all from the past.
Perhaps He is right when He says the written word does nothing for expression emotion, because I was not angry at you. I was angry FOR me.
Anyway... thanks for the note. It's enlightening to know that people are still selling half-truths about me and my words.
-= Tara =-
